A few years ago, I wrote the following for a “Journal your Grief” group I had attended.

I’m sorry for your loss…

“I am sorry for your loss.” We’ve all heard this phrase. I’ve said these words to people too. But when they were spoken to me, they never felt right. Were the words wrong? I don’t think so. Was my perspective wrong? I don’t know, maybe. Even though at times the words tumbled out of my mouth, they just didn’t feel right in regards to my boys, Conor and Aiden.

Everyone’s healing journey, like their grief and their love, is unique. Thankfully, there is no timeline, no comparison, no judgement in how that healing journey unfolds. I do believe that each person is an expert in their own grief and in what is and what isn’t helpful. Recently I have been given the opportunity to step back and really look at the last few years as a whole. There are benefits to looking back and taking note of changes and spiritual growth made on this journey we call life. Healing has come in very unexpected ways. It is important to incorporate new ideas and perspectives while letting go of old ideas that no longer serve our best and highest good. We are constantly evolving.

Dancing seems to be a connection for Conor and me. Conor was quite handsome and very self-confident when approaching the high jump. He was not quite so self-assured when approaching the dance floor. I’m not sure that dancing was high on his list of favorite activities.

When Conor was 5 years old, he said that he wanted to marry me. So sweet and innocent! I explained that I loved him with my whole heart, but I was already married to daddy. So off he went to the kitchen, not seeming to be bothered at all by my explanation. He returned to the living room a while later. Apparently, he had been really thinking about this. He asked me to go in the kitchen with him and said we had to dance. So, we had a lovely dance which was very well-choreographed, I might add. He gave wonderful instructions as we waltzed around the kitchen. Conor told me exactly what to do and when to spin. It was just so sweet. At the end of the dance he announced, “That was the married dance so now we are married!” He was very proud of himself and really thought he had pulled one over on the old girl! My heart was filled with love at this display of pure love from a son to his mother. For a short time Andy and I jokingly called him Oedipus – Eddy for short.